Traumatised...seriously

1.50am
27th June 2009
I think I’m in trauma right now. I feel really nauseous. That same morbid scene keeps replaying in my mind. My heart feels really heavy, sinking, right to the pit of my stomach.

I’ll NEVER spray insecticide on lizards EVER again!!!

Insecticides apparently aren’t made to kill lizards! If it doesn’t kill them instantly, then what’s the point?!! Aren’t these bottled poison sprays supposed to kill pests quickly if not instantaneously? Are the sprayed pests supposed to suffer a prolonged poisoning and writhing before actually dying?

You are about to read the tragic story of how a mindless murder took place.

I saw the unfortunate tail-less small lizard scampering into my labyrinth of shopping bags on the floor. This lizard must have been the one making the lizard noises I have been hearing every night. So I decided to get rid of it once and for all lest it should procreate. Back into the room I came marching with the spray-can of insecticide. Moving the bags aside, I finally spotted the doomed gecko trying to scamper away. Spishhhh! I sprayed the “deadly” (yah right, as if!) poison at it. It stopped moving and appeared dead, but as I was about to turn away, it tried to slither off. Surprised and frantic, I sprayed at it a few more times as it tried to escape.
Why won’t it just die quickly?!! I was exasperated as I realized it must be suffering in all that poison. As it tried to hide under my laptop bag, I sprayed even more insecticide on it hoping it would just quickly die and rest in peace. It still refused to die and was writhing away!
After one final long spray that soaked it in a pool of insecticide, it finally flipped over writhing for what seemed like eternity and then ceased to move. From the time of the first spray and realization that the lizard was still alive till seeing its last breath, I was in a bit of a frantic yet dazed state of mind. The whole process seemed to drag on forever. I wasn’t aware of anything else other than wanting the unfortunate gecko to quickly die so it didn’t have to suffer.
When the ordeal was finally over, I robotically, numbly, cleaned up the carcass and mess of insecticide patches on the floor. After which I could only sit on the edge of my bed and stare into space as the morbid scene of how that reptile’s body writhed and flipped over and continued writhing till it stopped replayed non-stop in my mind. I’m certain I saw its eyes staring at me as it writhed in pain choking on the poison that drowned it.

I’m so sorry I killed that lizard!!! What if its partner was waiting for its return which will never be? I won’t just be a murderer but a cruel separator as well!

I’ll NEVER spray insecticide on lizards EVER again!!!

I hope I can sleep peacefully tonight.

A BROW-raising encounter

Now I perfectly understand what it means to follow your gut feel even if it seems to oppose ‘professional’ opinion.
Today, I decided to get some good basic makeup to make myself look more presentable for my job interview on Monday. Upon some friend’s advice to get makeup from an established brand as they are more reliable, I decided to survey the various makeup counters of the many brands sprawled throughout the ground level of a popular departmental store. I was thoroughly amazed at the wide array of makeup products that each makeup brand held. Deciding on one brand that was recommended by a friend, I approached the staff there for a potential purchase and for makeup advice. I was given a makeover cum ‘makeup lesson’ which required me to purchase $150 worth of that brand’s products. I thought that though $150 was steep (yes, naïve and ignorant I was), I probably could get a full range of products for my whole face. (I was sorely mistaken)

When I saw the makeup artist that was assigned to me, I had some worries as she was very dramatically overly made-up. But I couldn’t have possibly refused her assistance and requested for another because of that! It would have been so rude and obnoxious. So I merely stressed to her that I wanted to have makeup that looked as natural as possible, hoping against hope that her own makeup was a personal style and not her professional one.
The process was enlightening, eye-opening and well, ... long. When it was over and I had found out (with great shock) the prices of each product used, I couldn’t help but find something else more startling than pricey prices. My eyebrows which she drew and coloured looked really loud and dramatic. In fact I found them slightly repulsive. Voicing how I felt in a tactful way of course, I asked her if something could be done about them. She proceeded to apply something to lighten them and insisted that such eyebrows were the in-trend now. I looked at her face zooming in on her eyebrows and realized why mine at that point looked so familiar. I should have responded to my gut feeling when I first saw that she was assigned to me. Also my friend, who was with me then, affirmed that my eyebrows looked fine. Thus I resigned to them thinking that perhaps they looked weird to me due to my inexperience in makeup techniques and trends. Alas! The consequences of not listening to my heart and gut feeling!

It was a good thing that the activities after that were a movie and alfresco dinner in the night (which was darker than being indoors). Of course, all my friends whom I met for movie and dinner had similar responses about those blasted brows. Once home, my parents’ appalled reactions already had no more effect on me. I quickly went straight to my makeup remover.

Finally, those in-you-face brows were gone and back were my raw and natural yet comfortably pleasant brows! Off with all the makeup and there I was again, clean and fresh looking. Honestly, I really felt I looked better after the makeup was removed. I’m not being yaya-papaya or anything, but I seriously think I look better without that dreaded makeup. Perhaps it was only the POW-brows that ruined it all. I believe you would agree with me. Why don’t you be the judge?






With makeup. Note the in-your-face brows.



Without makeup. Clean n clear!


Hmm…did I just waste a fortune on some things that I would have done better without? Ouch…

Separated by eternity or by destiny. Which would you rather if you had to choose one?

Just today, I had yet another random impromptu dinner with a good friend. This friend and I have been having many of these personal chats and quality time together recently. Being romantics at heart and being English majors, we are also inevitably connected by our inspirational impromptu play of words and poetic-dramatic one-(or two) liners.

One very memorable one which I cant help but write on, is our brief exchange about being separated by eternity rather than by destiny with the one we like/love. The phrases just came to mind as they rhymed. Moreover, such truth lies within that which seemed merely a whimsical play of words! We agreed that with regards to the one we like, we would rather be separated by eternity than to be separated by destiny. We didn’t dwell much on it but agreed that it was food for thought. And indeed it was food for thought for me when I got home.

Separated by eternity does not mean to be separated eternally. To be separated by eternity sounds dramatic but carries truth in it when interpreted in the context of a Christian and a non-Christian. However to be separated by eternity may not be so eternally. God loves everyone of us and wants us back to Him. With God’s steadfast love and our persistent prayer, this separation by eternity may be only temporary.

To be separated by destiny is, on the other hand, is just heartwrenching! To be at the mercy of the hand of ‘destiny’. Totally helpless and futile in all efforts to be together with the one you like because both of you are separated by destiny. That is tragic.

I’m glad, no, extremely grateful that I have a wonderful, merciful, faithful, unconditionally loving God I can depend on and trust in rather than living my life depending on the whim and fancy of destiny. For those who believe in destiny, don’t put your lives in something that doesn’t love or care about you even if it existed. How about giving a tried and tested, loving pair of hands a chance to carry you through life’s journey to eternity?

Revival of my 'long-lost' blog!

Welcome back to my long- neglected dormant blog! It's been..gosh!..years literally, since i last wrote in this blog.

I've decided to rekindle the spark in blogging after chancing upon my dormant blog and reading my past entries. Heheh..It's really quite fun to read my rants, muses and nonsense of yester-yester-years...

I'll probably be updating regularly now since i'm more free this period. Stay tuned!

Madness

Shucks. I fell asleep while marking AGAIN. Just woke up with a start. It's 3.30 a.m . now. A.M. Marking again and eating ice cream. (!)

Madness! i know.

NEways.......

Found these extremely interesting pictures on my students' blogskins.


















How morbidly funny!
For those who don't get it: Read the nursery rhyme and look at the lamb
It says:
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
Everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb was sure to go




















How frightfully possible!
ignore the boxes on the right.dunno why it came with the pic

Amidst an extremely stressful period as such, i myself will also wonder...wat am i doing??? still got time to blog??? BUT i must de-stress. Must de-stress. Must de-stress. Must de-stress...Must de-stress...

The marking is incessant, never-ending, continuous, non-stop.... PAINFULLY SLEEP-DEPRIVING!!! My eyes are red, my face is white, my forehead is pimply, my eyelids are half closed.
Once the assignments are done, the exam papers flood in.

Oh no, am i ngiam-ing? am i complaining? am i lamenting? am i whining? am i ranting?
I AM TALKING TO MYSELF??!!!

Wanted to followup and blog about my "adventures" with Kwon Sang Woo! But but but...no time...Next time then!




This is how i feel now

BUT

This is what i MUST do














Ok, actually today's post is to commemorate the recovery of my laptop. It was on the verge of dying, at its last breath, due to a major VIRUS infection...
BUT
Praise the Lord!!! Thank God my bro (yes the irritating one) could save it. Actually McAfee Virus Scan saved it. But nevertheless, i will not discredit him. Good sister am i.

My Lovely Sang Woooooooo

This picture was koped from the Faceshop website!

Yahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! I'm very very very excited!!!!! My FAVOURITE Korean actor KWON SANG WOO is coming to Singapore for the 1st time!!! He's here as the spokesperson for the Faceshop. I've waited Looooooong enough for this day.

Heard he'll be at IMM this Sunday 3rd August at 4.30 or 5.30pm. Different sources seem to proclaim different timings. Neways i'll definitely be loitering around IMM that day!

Anybardieeee wanna go with me?

Here's some good stuff to share with all....!
(These are pictures he took for the Faceshop i tink. Thus, the berries and the leaf.)

Just Look at his BEAUTIFUL face! He's like the male version of snow white. Erms..I'm usually not drawn to fair guys but he's differnt.

Here is a more manly picture of him! He's HANDSOME here.

The Pioneer Piece of Art

This was the very 1st Microsoft Paint picture that inspired me to develop my artistic capabilities and create simple yet meaningful pictures using Paint. This was the PIONEER PIC. Actually, it was not drawn by me. (But it really inspired me nevertheless) Anyways, i thought it was very appropriate to post this pic now for some brief history and also since it very impeccably depicts how i feel right now.

Notice the bold and coloured phrases? That is the Lao Huang in me expressing him?/herself. Heheh